Why do people like talking to me reddit

People have this annoying smirk on their face when i speak, not all but some, and its almost like they can feel that i have anxiety and am nervous. But I do think I feel your pain and struggle to some extent. I am not sure if it is a chemical imbalance. The_Boogey-Man. Command your partner's attention with your eyes. So they may listen one, two or even three times and give you advice (you didn‘t even asked for), then they think you should be able to heal and never talk about it again. I have always hung out with/ get along with people who are older then me. Not meaningful conversations can be considered you wanting to waste other people's energy and can be considered rude. Best thing you can do with people like that is divert or do some fancy circumlocution. At the same time, realise that things like social media drive dopamine responses. Convincing people to buy here and now is a small fraction. If it's part of their job to ask questions then that's something they need to do, but it would help if you were aware that it was going to take place. This is probably just me, but it also seems really awkward to invite people to anything. It's also the easiest way to connect with someone new or make them feel like you are friend material, by just asking them about themselves - because people like to talk about themselves. The less you do it, the worse you are at it and vice versa. People don't like smart people. Like if they use a big word, they'll Because you are currently not interested in talking to people. I don't have a true Best Friend so it usually feels like we're not close enough for me to invite them to anything privately, but every time I've invited someone to something it feels like we've somehow gotten closer. • 3 yr. It engenders a sense of closeness and intimacy nonverbally, and can go a long way to communicating the feeling behind your words. It depends not only on you, but also on the other person. I don't talk much either so I understand. It has confused me for a long time. Talking when expected, showing up to people's events, reacting the way people want you to react. . • 1 yr. Learn how to respectfully make people take you seriously by not letting them walk all over you. Something that has helped me is to write down some feelings you have or maybe just something you want to share. Four great friends made through small talk (on non-work time) with co-workers. I talk to myself for several reasons: First off, I remember things better when I say and hear them. I'm not the most good looking person in the world but I'm generally decent at holding conversations. Second, I learned to not to see everything as a problem for me to solve and that sometimes people just want to talk about things. Police can be very convincing. But if they're staring at you and they know that you can see them, it's a different story. Don't eyefuck them, but hold a healthy amount of eye contact. It's much more fun than talking in front of someone's back. Just be kind in your everyday actions (but don’t go out of your way…. So just keep that in mind and talk to them like you would your guy friends. But all of sudden, maybe 2 weeks ago, she sort of stopped messaging me first and acting kind of dry over text. New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast. It's like they're talking down to you. Or people will kind of talk to me in a condescending way. This happens to me often, if I'm walking down the street or minding my own business, of all people present, smh random strangers usually ask me for directions, help, or just generally start chatting. How it must be weird for the people in the Southern Hemisphere to always have holidays, etc linked with totally different seasons. At least with a text message, you don't have to worry about the person on the other end being able to hear you. Talk to people because you want to talk with them and not because you think you will be lonely in the future. Talking to people currently is just an objective. commandrix. They're obviously used to a loud environment so hearing someone talk softly comes as an interest to their head. 5. I have had the same thing happen to me. I get very nervous talking to people my age and feel like they just look at me like I am a weirdo. Probably not the case with everyone. When I’m close with someone, I can go from texting them almost every day to going weeks and weeks without talking. There are slight differences depending on hormones and certain thoughts and social expectations we’re raised with, but when it all boils down there’s not much that separates a man from a woman mentally. They don‘t understand it‘s not just a mood but a sever illness. Instead speak out loud but polite with a smile that you are not finished yet. If I'm alone in a room with a stranger, they will talk with me, but as soon as someone else arrives they will redirect all their attention to the new person. Why the fuck ADMIN MOD. I also point out that I am frequently not somewhere I can take a phone call. It is a sign of effort from their part, a sign of interest, which tells that they want to create a connection / they are bored and are looking for some kind of entertainment / they are trying to use you for their own needs. 3. I talk to myself so I can actually remember the things I need to - If I simply read it, then I'll forget by the time I'm done reading. Make it exciting that you can talk to a beautiful girl. Also, your question is a valid question. I just get so angry and want people to be quiet and leave me alone, like my brain can't handle the auditory input when I'm receiving other sensory information. First of all, the main thing is to feel comfortable during the conversation. ago. I can only imagine how neurotypicals feel listening to me talk. 15M. There is no internal motivation. That's about 70% of the job. I'm pretty new to Reddit so go easy on me lol. It’s so sad because as an introvert, I want others to initiate contact first but sadly people get scared talking to you because you’re known as the quiet person. Speaking for myself, I know I get annoyed when I am struggling to pay attention. ”. Most extroverts I have met are self-absorbed, love to hear themselves talk, hate listening and will constantly interrupt, talk over or completely ignore other people for having the audacity to think a conversation is a back and forth process and not a scream over everyone else chaotic shit show. How you feel about fall/other seasons. I'm quite shy/anxious, and I often feel like people avoid or ignore me in conversations. That tactic can be used for any situation btw. Why the hell do strangers talk to me? Might sound weird, let me explain. Yes, people think it's weird. Lots of reasons. but I’ve had interactions where I let the person monologue and then they say, “wow thank you for listening to all Be kind to yourself and others. Talking to me is like talking to a brick wall, HELP ME OUT! I've always been someone that's hard to talk to, ever since i was little i just stayed silent. If that makes sense. It's one thing to read DSM diagnostic criteria or an Autism Parent's lamentations, and another to really hear us as we describe what it feels like SkyAngel07. I wish we could all someday be happy, even if it seems like a laughable concept. We all need a rest from this sometimes. That, or move into the wilderness. If you need a place to start, bus drivers are always looking for a conversation about anything that you might have on your mind. Think of it this way. People my age and even younger seem to think it's okay to talk down to me as if I'm fucking dumb. When there is no quarantine enforced in my place, I talk in my head or sometimes whispers, laugh at my own jokes, and think about random things or things that interests me in my mind. If they're staring at you and you don't see them, it's just fine. Don't let them make you feel bad, they are the one being rude there. Everybody does that to everybody now. It makes them feel important that they know something that others might not, so they use information in order to feel important. People, not just women. Yep, I didn't know that was an ADHD thing. I have a wife and kids and we're all 100% at ease with each other at home. Do people often talk to you like you’re stupid? Ask INFJs. I can assure you there is nothing wrong with you tho & you will find the right people for you :) hope this helps. Check it: Speak slowly and look people in the eyes when you are speaking to them. That is part of what it is to live in society. Russians are even more taciturn, the silence on the metro in Moscow makes the London underground seem positively chatty. And i ******* hate it because they dont understand that i cant control the anxiety i have. They think they are smarter than the police or can talk their way out of anything. My theory is that introverts don't dislike socializing, they dislike social obligations and expectations. I know it’s probably just a nervous reaction but why does this happen. That’s one benefit of online classes for me, I can watch my professors’ lectures sped up and can actually pay attention. Oh yeah, generally people love talking about themselves. If they get uppity about it I just let them sit their in their indignation. 1. It makes me feel like I have said something wrong, but when I ask people if I did, they say I haven't. The first thing is meditation. Maybe start shifting your focus to see if the people you are talking to bring something to YOU instead and how they make you feel instead of overthinking what you are doing “wrong” or having negative thoughts about yourself. expandusdongus. Meanwhile feeling excluded from everyone around me, when i was a kid/teen i didn't rlly get why, despite having friends they didn't come and look for me. I used to have this problem and heres how to fix it. Award. People stare at you because they don't care that it makes you uncomfortable. Funny how fall came out to be the favorite season and theories on that. They can interrogate people for hours, breaking their will because people don't know how to get them to stop. If something gets to intense (like a fighting couple) i have a picture on the opposite side of me to just zoom out and relax for a short moment, to come into the conversation with new energy. CatCasualty. Definitely. Yes. Likely a pleasant vibe. If they're talking just because, then you're not in the Normally they don't feel threatened by you if they approach you and it has more to do with body language, age, facial attractiveness and overall vibe. If you can do it, you can make more, but you dont HAVE Like brits, they are polite but don't really want to talk to strangers at length. I’m actually comfortable talking in public but yet for some odd I dont know if you kinda hate small talk like me too but i really dont enjoy that and id rather talk about deeper and more meaningful things. Gossiping is a shitty practice. It’s just how I am, like I run out of things to say to that person. The trick is to get them talking (just ask them a few questions about themselves, talkers love talking about themselves) and just nod every now and then or say Um or Right or Really every so often while they're blathering on. Just detach and go about your day until the hard parts over and then come home and re center yourself. I don't trust people that Honestly in your situation, I personally wouldn’t try to talk to your mother anymore. We’d have a blast talking to each other all the time. Well in Canada where I live (and most places I've been in North America), it's a sign of friendliness and communicates a sense of openness. If you asked them if they really care, they’d likely say “no not really, I’m just making conversation”. If someone cuts you in the middle, don't become quiet. Yeah, unfortunately people may assume that we may not want to talk to people when reality, we actually do :/ and then they slowly stop talking to us. You just say "No" and explain why you disagree. This will be hard at first. if you aren't ugly there's a way out which is just to practice and observe how others do it more. Yes, we have " no talking in the elevators" signs. Regardless of how well I'm doing socially, I want to meet new people. I feel like if I'm not making a significant effort to talk to people, they would never do the same back. Why do people like FaceTiming? Question. If I watch at normal speed it’s just agonizingly slow. They can lie to make people think that talking is the best option. if you're ugly then your progress would be equivalent to pushing against a wall. They'll hold your hand when they talk to your or put their arm around your back. I never really understood why no one ever wanted to talk to me. If you think you might be autistic - or even if you're on The Quest, to figure out why life seems so much stranger and harder for you than it does for other people - then we made this space for you. But that's when you know someone is decent, when they are able to make good conversation and ask questions. One of the men, I thought, seemed like he experiences life in a very real way, paying very close attention, and that makes him a little sad, but also knowledgeable. I find FaceTiming to be the most awkward and useless form of communication. At first I just said “Hey, don’t know you. Three great friends made through small talk with strangers. Try to identify what was different at those times. I don't know. What happens to your stomach or breathing or other body parts when people say "you look good today!" may give you clues. Ask INFJs. As soon as he asks that question, say something like "I don't really like sharing that type of information. If I start a new job, I also feel that no one wants to Humans interact with other humans in society. You already told them that you didn't feel like talking. I don't know what else to expect. Of course there will be some naturally talented people but it's going to be useless if they don't practice it. It’s hard to explain, but I feel like I just don’t fit in. They think you can get over it real quick. Today I realized that people don't like someone showing smarts all the time, even if they are "being themselves". The reason for this isnt anxiety as im the same with the people im comfortable with and even online. People tend to speak freely when they know the listener will not judge them. I also hate talking on the phone so the fact that there’s FaceTime where you’re talking on the phone while also staring at I am still struggling with this problem, pretty much exactly as you described it, but I do have two things that are helping me get better. Be firm, and then don't engage with that person again after that. In my humble but obviously biased opinion, I think you should do 3 things: Work on building confidence in yourself. Almost nobody ever talks to me because im like this, i cant go up and talk to people, i cant make friends, cant even keep a friendship because they’re built on literally just talking, and i never had a girlfriend. I noticed something totally crazy recently—strangers just don’t approach me. This happens to me quite often, everywhere, people just unload on me. People seem to be assuming that young people have no idea how to talk to one another, in person or in any other way, and that the question is essentially asking why people need r/AskReddit is the place to ask and answer thought-provoking questions. I have these moments too. Tell her stories, do it in a very relaxed way, laugh with things, show confidence, and eventually she'll open up herself. But its like some of the others said the more you talk to people the easier it gets. When I was in 6th grade, I was talking to my dad (who had a thing for reading people-skill books because he was in sales) about how I’m so awkward and i don’t like talking to people because I simply didn’t know how to. I have terrible social anxiety, and it's honestly been years since I have had an actual real life friend. When you feel disrespected, when possible, say “I don’t like how I feel, I’m not continuing this conversation, goodbye. A lot of it could be any combination of social anxiety, not liking the idea of being available 24/7, poor reception, and hating all the spam calls that people get. I'm a normal person with feelings. I've noticed my housemates have stopped including me in things :/ Conversation tip: PEOPLE LIKE TALKING ABOUT THEMSELVES. I had horrible social anxiety as a kid and a teenager, but in my 20s I started working in the restaurant/bar industry and it taught me how to have a conversation with almost anybody about anything. Maybe low testosterone if you are a guy or you are bipolar or something. Honestly, it is perfectly normal for me and my friends. Fast forward to my "second career" as a marketing writer and I find myself struggling. In truth, I still see it as a problem to solve, but the problem is they need someone to talk to, thus the solution is to just listen, empathize, and encourage them to get it all out with no judgment and only advise It's not always true, since desperate people can still be well-liked (and oftentimes the most desperate people are the most well-liked since they'll try over and over until they succeed). Other people just don't know you that well. In fact, even my interactions with…. Make sure to take care of those people because you deserve that positivity in your life. I'm sorry. The partying, loud/screaming, and smoking, all that stuff just don’t do it for me. But if it’s real friends who accept you as you are and you can relax with them, that’s much better. One of my closest friends has me overthinking recently. Your being too self important. In personal situations I usually mention I am not a fan of talking on the phone, email, text or IM are better ways to find me. As someone who talks quietly, and is very often reminded to speak up a bit: My hearing is overly sensitive, so i can hear myself speaking loud and clear, thus i assume other people can hear me, but they don't so they have to remind me to speak louder. Yes, when you have to navigate complex social interaction, so you are accepted and not judged, can be very stressful. As it should. Here’s a secret. It's good salesmanship and breaks the barrier between two adults and makes the conversation more personal. My step dad is big into gossiping. Consciously try and remove crutches like 'Um,' and 'you know,' from your speech patterns. Some cultures are just more gregarious than others, and there's probably centuries of socio-cultural reasons why. Weatherman. It’s not fair on the other person so just be a loner. I am just jealous of people who seem to be so calm cool and collected around other Apparently someone told me I have an intimidating aura and they have a hard time talking to me unless I initiate first. Small talk is an art, it takes skill, it’s a way to communicate “I’m no threat”. They either feel that they are being put down or they will feel the need to act smart too. All conversation in a FaceTime call can easily be communicated in a regular phone call or a text. Juveaf. I had a time where I couldn't stop laughing at my friend because he is dumb. Give her a nice smile and say hi, ask her how she's doing, give her a nice reply, compliment her shirt and proceed doing something else for a bit. You don’t need to chat with anyone / everyone, but you do need to find a way to feel comfortable in proximity to others and not be in infuriated when people try in a reasonable way to interact with you. Work on your communication skills, especially expressing your thoughts and emotions. • • Edited. People who talk on speaker phone in public, Why? Archived post. Me and her used to talk daily, and she’d initiate conversations all the time, and I would too of course. Talk about the leaf tracker app, science behind leaves. I was usually the "friend" that people would invite to go on a walk just to flex Finally, if the way they are speaking to you is rude the you need to communicate that to them. So when you are contacting them afterwards, they don't respond because they weren't looking for a connection, but just a brief chat. Communicate your boundaries and if someone won’t respect your boundaries then they might not be your friend. My only problem is that every time I do start talking more and start making conversations with people my armpits get really sweaty and I feel hot. People also love to feel like they're contributing to something. For example, sometimes people will talk to me and then explain a simple thing to me that I already know. While writing you probably will cry but that's ok because you are releasing your emotions. Touching non-sexual body parts such as hands, arms, and backs are pretty common in older people. " Turn the topic into something like how great the food is or some small talk. -_-. Nobody really cares about “how the traffic is today”. If you get better at talking, at listening, at starting conversations and keeping them going, you will have an edge over Mr. Keep being polite, but remember to be kind and value your friends around you. 4. They are just a number/npc to you. There are good things about you that you probably just don’t see in yourself. Tell yourself 'that is my attachment system talking'. Like there’s a lot of moments in my life when I’d like to say “I know that, you don’t need to tell me” or other times where my opinions/suggestions are almost never considered. Just keep being yourself and see who shows up. Whenever you feel nervous, accept it, acknowledge it, and make it exciting to be nervous. But if I say it out loud and repeat it a few times, ("gotta remember to go to the bank. It's like people feel awkward around me. Stay aware of your body when people compliment you too, not just your mind. 25x or 1. Don’t do anything you wouldn’t normally do), and let your mother stew, if that’s what she wants to do. Mindfulness and "being in the moment" are key to avoiding those anxious, distracting thoughts that keep you from being focused on the conversation. You don’t have to question it, just appreciate what you have because that’s really great that people reach out to you. Great happiness and deep peace of mind because of feeling very connected to and safe with people. I have periods of anger and joy. They can sense it on me. My first thought that came to my mind is that I might just be way too ugly for anyone to want to talk to me. If your the sort of person who bothers with people and only talks to them when it suits you your a straight up narcissist. At my school, I occasionally have people I don’t know talking to me, saying things “Hey, bro! How you doing?” with a big ass smile on their faces. It seems that people that know me [29F] have a very hard time talking/opening People talk way too slow. It's very subjective. If they persist, tell them FIRMLY to leave you alone. Reply reply. I wish I could tell them I want to talk and I want to hang out but I'm just too anxious. I hope you'll find your way again. 5x speed. Conversations often felt one sided as if no one was ever interested in getting to know me. Share. So automatically their loud voice demands everyone's attention. But not everybody is that way. 2. Juniebug9. It makes me feel stupid when the conversation stops at a halt because the other person/people couldn't understand my words. Consider the situations where you are able to focus, and have enjoyed relating to others. So i just dont really talk to those people. Sometimes when people talk about work, they can receive positive reinforcements and can go on with their life to focus on other things. If someone asked me that, I'd think "That's a good point to be fair", and if I end up disagreeing for whatever reason, it would just be a normal conversation. You must have noticed that those who cut you off start on a loud note. Old people of Reddit, please let me know why you like phone calls so much EDIT 1: This post is asking about the use of a phone, not the value of conversation in general. I feel like sometimes when I talk to people my age, I just don’t “vibe” well with them. . Some people find silences to be awkward and uncomfortable or a sign of hostility so they break that with small talk. I went to a dinner party this last weekend and met some people I want to get to know better. The two friends I currently speak to have nearly nothing in common with me. Reply. Juicy_Fountain. I don't enjoy small talk, unless I'm working. Is there any hope for me to I don't know about you specifically but I think talking to people effectively is a skill you learn through repetition for the most part, just like any other. This may sound silly to a lot of people. People interact with you, because they want to interact with you. Now that i'm older i get it's because That’s how you get taken advantage of. A lot of people start conversations because they're bored. I have always been a socially awkward, small-talk-hating, introvert. To break the ice I always start talking about myself. Some people do, yes. 6. Some reasons that have to do with you and some that have nothing to do with you. In this situation, there is no need to mention someone's name. Sometimes I think it's got to do with my face or some air I give out. I also feel out of place because I feeL like everyone is more put together then I am. It establishes a connection. ”, and they’d reply with things like “What are you doing here Be mindful of when you're being needy. Say something embarrassing that happened to me or talk openly about taboo topics like sex, menstruation, infidelity and things like that. You can literally get addicted to those notifications of likes. I feel like I can’t connect with people my own age. I have to watch all videos at 1. Don't let her feel it's affecting you. We would like to show you a description here but the site won’t allow us. I could walk past someone in Walmart & if i hear the word "she" as I pass by…. The inability to talk about or express my interests without getting my balls busted has been eating away at me for a while now. •. I know this comment is old, but at times I get really irritated at my husband and kid , if I feel like they're just rambling and it doesn't stop. Putting more weight in your voice really helps. My hypothesis is that either I am frowning/looking mad even when I am not and then people simply mirror my reaction, as we tend to do in social situations. Oh man. If they're asking you to talk about your work, they simply want to get to know you better because they don't know anything else about you or don't know the "work" part about you. Livebeam. If silence is more beautiful than what you have to say, do not say anything 😊. I don't remember any last time either. Stay away from people it’s clearly a mental illness and you need to stop communicating with people if they simply annoy you. I can't think of anything to say, I think I sound dumb, I start sweating, my heart races, and I end up thinking about the conversation for the next 3 days worried about how ridiculous I sounded. In this way you will feel more relaxed when talking to someone. true. Short of actively saying something in the moment, "I'm not finished speaking" or interrupting with "I would like to stop you for a moment and let me interject here," I tend to ride out the convo and avoid future conversations with them. [deleted] • 7 yr. When I’m in the moment I don’t even feel that nervous. I feel like people often talk to me as if I don’t understand anything. Whispering, and people who pronounce "s" like they are scraping a nail along a chalkboard (sorry for trigger). I personally use a combination of methods to regain new energy, very basic stuff but it seems to be successful in the whole. When you're working in sales, you're seen as a sort of authority in the subject matter, by default, so it's just a matter of keeping that conversation going, and asking for the sale when the time comes. But there is definitely a balance otherwise some people just think you’re too closed off, because maybe they weren’t raised to ask questions like I was. Or else if it's an old Acquaintance they're just checking in to see what you are doing. The art of conversation seems lost and many people don't back and forth talk and show interest in others. I'm sorry I don't know how/I can't say anything to help. 👍. Even if you said something inappropriate that doesn’t give them the right to treat you rudely. I'll get angry enough to scream sometimes. You don't have to answer any questions that you don't want to answer. People will either try to put you down in some way, wont However, when random people start talking to me, I get really nervous. 10 votes, 20 comments. Best. Same reason that some people walk around with music blaring: they're self-important asshats. It makes me uncomfortable. I talk to people, but they don't talk back. That‘s it. But it often works out for people because dropping desperation gives other people the opportunity to show their own value. Rationalise why people are not talking to you. None of us is perfect and it's an unreal expectation to expect everyone to like us and want to be our friend. Sometimes when I talk to them, I feel like they’re too immature for me to handle mentally. meow. I just feel like I'm always the one making the effort to interact with others. No matter what i do, i always feel like people are talking about me. qv va vm cl ci ol pf sv fi ce