I would wonder why no one wants to be friends with him or no one is good enough for him to even be his friend. It’s been a month. If you have similar interests ask her if she wants to do something sometime. If you have no friends, you could possibly be clingy in a relationship. Still never had a relationship with a woman, and the only friend I have is an old high school friend whom I only text, we never meet in person because he always comes up with an excuse. Also as long as the guy doesn't try to make the woman spend a lot more money. You’re supposed to win over brothers, not give them a reason to dislike you for their sister. As a female with no social circle, I think it’s fine as long as you’re not super overprotective, clingy and insecure. I'm 26 nearly 27 in December, and I've never had a serious relationship (of any kind) or had sex. If he’s insecure, then of course he’s gonna have an issue with a woman having many male Because good luck teaching a 40+ year old man to use a washing machine. Just a thought though. He seems like a nice guy, but if there’s no chemistry there’s no chemistry. Sad_Potato45. If they don’t want kids, they shouldn’t date a parent. It’s never been a problem for me dating. My relationships struggle to understand that I work nights and that doesn’t mean I have unlimited free time for them. It’s perfectly fine that he has no friends and dedicates himself to work, but it could be a sign that he is a workaholic. OSUfirebird18. Of course, that he has female friends will be a problem IN the relationship. If the relationship is going to flourish, you need communication as well as compromise. Then say I would have said no, but my last 2 bfs have been like that and it caused all sorts of issues. This is definitely weird and inappropriate. She's dating you because of all the options she's got you're the one she wanted most. I would not accept the guy I'm dating to be meeting up with my female friend. SomeArtist. If he brings good qualities to the relationship, then being alone for that long is in no way disqualifying. In these instances, It’s not considered amoral to make up a small white lie if it’s for the sake of getting your foot in the door. I went through something similar, until I was mid 30’s and dating mature, emotionally centered, and secure men. When I started college, I was in a long-distance relationship with a guy who studied engineering at another university. lucky_719. Take your time getting to know the person while casually dating (if the feeling is mutual). It’s really hard to find somebody you consider a friend . ADMIN MOD. Like, go out and legitimately try to make friends. I would also not point it out. I'm not turned off about the fact a guy has no dating experience, but I get turned off about the problems that no dating experience can create (poor communication, unrealistic expectations, etc. Yes, it's a huge red flag because your way of thinking isn't healthy. By the same logic you could say that a gay man can't have a friendship with a straight man, which obviously isn't true. I basically sit at home, workout, play games with friends, tan outside, schoolwork, etc. Let alone date. Another thing is if you have no friends its best to tackle that than getting into dating in general. He’s a guy too. It was kind of sad and very awkward. But it’s not like I don’t want to have friends. It all depends. Your personality jives. It’s a little weird, yes. Being in a relationship doesn't make someone good at being in relationships, or more desirable, or better boyfriend material. ETA: ftr I'm not saying women are bad at communicating. A lack of competitors indicates a lack of value. I’m stressed all the time, and sex with him is just ok. A romantic partner often share many similar things you do. Please keep the rules of r/dating_advice in mind while participating here. But honestly I wouldn't want to date someone who thought that way without asking why. He is shady imo especially given the age gap. Every relationship is different, so I wouldn't be put off and not date a guy who has never been in a relationship. Nope. All this idea does is reinforce traditional gender roles in a destructive way. posts about relationships longer than 6 months post go to r/relationship_advice or if you are married post to r/marriage ADMIN MOD. I guess I don’t have much of a life anymore, but I didn’t think it Plenty of people with friends kill their partners. I find for the most part friend groups have a mindset of the more the merrier. We are each other's support system. I like to go to the gym (which has a good selection of people!), I also am busy with grad school (girls are mostly 22-23), and work remotelyso pretty solitary life. I’m a girl with a lot of guy friends. Definitely matters how long they’ve been friends and if the relationship is platonic. Know the difference between what a hard no is and what you are willing to compromise on. A guy can be a socialite with 100 "friends" but have no true friends when adversity comes or he could have just 2 guys that are effectively his brothers. (Don't do that). Girls see right through shit moves like that and so will her male best friend. One ended up being a sociopath, the other ended up costing me friends because of his lack of social skills. Reply. If you can't drive because you have had too many DWI convictions, that is a red flag. When I had a girlfriend it was like another level of relationship that I wasn’t ready for. ) If we go on a few dates and there's otherwise a good connection then I don't care. com - join some groups for interests you like or just join a general, "make friends"/social group. Believe in that, my friend. Experience has shown that 99% of guy friends definitely have intentions and given a chance they will lay you down. Not using my main account as don't want my friends to find out about this side of me. He would always complain about the weird people in engineering and how hard it was to make good friends. • 2 yr. In reality I just wasn’t really looking, so if girls were showing me signs of interest I didn’t notice. You might even have to make the first move. Going on a date with a friend (or hooking up) can put immense pressure on either party to make it work and publicizing the attraction just adds to this pressure. I understood 100% and he was a normal guy otherwise. Our friendship developed when his sister, who is my best friend, moved out of town to pursue her career. Most of my friendships involve people who have a lot going on or have moved for work. I have two guy friends I love like brothers and I would say someone could misunderstand the nature of our relationship just by looking at us. You should be friends with people who’s place in your life you value on its face, not because you want something from them. We would like to show you a description here but the site won’t allow us. 38yo introvert in a new town, no friends, good job, own house, decent looking and get plenty of matches, but doesn tryin_not2_confuse. I am still not really independent. phlipups. The guy I was dating did not tell he had kids. I mean, he'd laugh at anecdotes, jokes and stories told by others, but never had jokes or funny stories of his own. I saw a post on here the other day asking men who have no friends or relationships what they do with their time. I try but it’s difficult for me to make friends. Matched with a Guy that has no Social Media Account. The ideas of friends with benefits, hooking up with friends, dating exclusively all get muddled up and- in my opinion anyway- a lot of younger guys don't want to commit to any one idea because they don't wanna lose the options. I’ve been told that I can’t date Until I have at least a small group of friends. Old-Alternative-3684 • 9 mo. Go to dating_advice. Here are some ideas on meeting people: meetup. searedscallops. If you want a relationship, date around knowing that going in. Yes, he's got acquaintances from high 47 minutes ago · 14. Although if you have no friends and are seriously lonely it does make me question why. r/dating_advice. Try your best to be kind. I (24F) was using a rideshare app to go back from my work. I would also be afraid of becoming his only confidante and him trying to take up all my 24black24. No friends = red flag. I moved to a new state around October, and I just haven't met anyone that I really click with. The most important thing is the reason. definitely dont be worried. That means men should check to see if they're communicating well too. Your social life could be lacking or you might have an awful personality that repulses people. Best friends just talk about stuff, there’s no intimacy to it. People just hear “after college” and “no relationship” and just assume I’m some horrible person bc in their heads no one found me desirable. I don’t have any friends. I have no issue with people having small friend groups or being introverted. 5 months. sorry but yes it is Its like a red-ish flag Its better to have no friends at all than having bad friends tho. Actually just being friends and it naturally evolving into a relationship is great in my opinion, but if there is romantic interest from the start it is usually better to just say so. Your feelings matter too. As long as the guy wasn't acting like a jerk it should be fine. My closest friends are guys. I wouldn't say it's a red flag if guys don't have friends that are girls but I would day it's a green flag when they do. He lives on the other side of the world. Also people are superficial now in days. From personal experience, dating a guy who hasn't had a serious relationship but has a good head on his shoulders and is still emotionally mature enough can lead to a great relationship. The members of the relationship should compliment each other emotionally, physically, mentally and financially. He isn't a 19-year-old who just left school, he's had 8-10 years to make new friends. But I’ve known both of them for over 6 years and I am zero threat if not supportive of their relationships. Fit_East_3081. posts about relationships longer than 6 months post go to r/relationship_advice or if you are married post to r/marriage. It's important to have friendships outside the relationship though, so if i had a gf with no friends I would help or encourage her to make some. Dating a guy with kids. I think that not having friends as a red flag is subjective. The notion that platonic guy friends don't exist is stupid. I met a guy (34M) in one of those rides and we got along very well and after two rides he invited me to a pastry shop to try his traditional cuisine - I had previously lived in his country and I knew a lot about the culture, food In that age range, a lot of teens/early 20s don't exactly know what their sexual or romantic plans are. •. If your best friend is truly just a friend (ie: you haven’t dated or hooked up with him in the past…) Then - Wait for a dude who is secure enough in himself to not be ridiculous about you having male friends. Understand what you are looking for in a person. If they have no friends at 29, then yeah that is a red flag. I live alone in a small city in Northeast. e. No, I don’t trust men who can’t have platonic female friends. It is also good practice for dating because making friends and being a good date take the same kind of skillset. Let him know how it makes you feel - sad from feeling isolated, sad and bothered that the two of you don’t go out and do anything and concern for him. Zooming in on the "no friends" part without considering anything else is dumb. Disrespect the friend’s relationship (i. A couple/few close friends, however, is what I actually prefer. I’d be more worried if they had none and women didn’t wanna be around him. Not a special story, just like every other story of this kind out there He (26M) and I (26F) met, liked each other, both are nice caring affectionate people, have the same interests, have great conversation, blah blah, amazing sex, blah blah. “I’m in a relationship with someone younger — he’s perfect on paper, but we’re stuck in the ‘friends with benefits’ trope (but he’s in love with me). I used to be the gamer guy who played too much up till I was 25 and I had enough and wanted Getting involved with someone who doesn't want to work on relationships isn't someone who I would want to be with. If the relationship goes south, you wouldn’t just be losing your girlfriend - but your one and only friend. Reply reply. Report any rule-breaking behavior to the moderators using the report butto We would like to show you a description here but the site won’t allow us. I wish he was more experienced sexually. Friendship is built on commonality, often times you have similar interests, values, humor, etc. Someone living with their parents as an adult raises questions but isn’t inherently a bad sign about that person. A deep sense of unhappiness and unfulfillment. If you are happy with a more casual arrangement that won’t progress beyond your current state maybe that’s fine. However, it doesn't necessarily mean the The only way to gain experience is to completely ignore your lack of experience. You have to initiate things and keep the friendship going. I’m now dating someone who doesn’t care. Hi, I (27M Human) have recently begun to feel the biological clock ticking I currently have no friends nor a girlfriend. Here is my thought as a guy who have fallen several times for his female friends. at all. MembersOnline. Probably since about June I’ve had feelings for him. I second this. Yes, I can’t date someone with no friends I’m sorry. it’s normal and completely healthy for men to have female friends. 27 Male with no dating experience : r/dating_advice. There are lots of reasons people can be worthwhile people and Mar 4, 2021 · You're concerned because the man you're attracted to, maybe even love, literally has no real friends. The easier the chase, the less urgent the pursuit. He’s very attentive, loving and kind, which is why I married him. Ppl moved away for work/military/fallen out of contact with. 2) Don't tell other people in the group unless you actually start dating (like, exclusively and consistently). I’d try imagining yourself a couple years down the road and every potential outcome with this guy if you stay dating (marriage, kids, or whatever you would ideally want in a perfect relationship), see how you feel about it. The only 2 friends he has now are both ex lovers, one of which is an ex-gf of 1. Not saying that either of those would be the case with you, but it would certainly be a red flag for me. Not to mention what a huge red flag it is to not have friends. They care that she's, attractive, sweet, attentive, easy to be around, fun to be around, kind, thoughtfuletc. Chances are she could date a good portion of the guy friends you've already met if she wanted to, instead she's dating you. I (24 f) have a very close guy friend, Tom, (26 m) who I’ve fallen for over the last few months. We promised to always be honest and open in our communication. I dated a really, really nice guy with zero sense of humor. It's a bit weird when a guy has a ton of friends, none of whom he's really close with. It also could be a situation where she lost a lot of friendships over time. We went into a bar and I ran into some people that I know. That’s probably one of the biggest hang ups in our relationship. RedShirtCashion. I literally say what I just said and no one has not got it. Men generally don't care if women have relationship experience. if it helps, ask to meet them/get to know them! it’s only a problem if he starts hiding them from you, that’s a red flag. I'm 19, don't have any real friends. ago. It depends on how secure the guy is in himself. We may not always agree, but we do respect each other's beliefs. 1. 47 votes, 83 comments. Go up to a woman and just start taking to her. However, there is a specific girl out there who will be attracted to YOU. Just you. Sometimes nice isn’t good enough. It's less that it's a red flag, but more like a guy with female friends is a green flag. Furthermore men tend to care about loyalty over popularity. Dating a guy with no friends. I still feel the same way I have felt these last 6 years basically. • 4 yr. Hi all! I (33/f) met this guy (36) via old. It's a huge red flag for me. That's why it's seen as a red flag. Women generally have it much easier due to the sheer number of matches / options they have. I was on a date in my city with a guy that I’ve been talking to for the past 1. If you dont even have one normal friend as a full grown adult, then that is usually a sign that there is something wrong with you. Same here. Age gap and getting with men that are obviously not looking for something. A friend of mine kept encouraging me and so I finally took her advice. I sense a train wreck of issues down the road, if they haven’t already been popping up in droves already. I (31F) recently started OLD and just yesterday I matched with a guy (33M) who sounded really nice. When one member is carrying all that load, that’s no longer a relationship, it’s dependency and doomed to failure. I think it matters even if a particular girl doesn’t mind because if you have no friends and are dating someone, you tend to rely on them a lot more. It cannot be a foundation of a happy life or for a romantic relationship. Yes would and have. There's one thing that may cause some conflict, it's the fact that they may compare themselves with your previous SOs It's generally an indicator of someone who doesn't have much going on in his own life or just isn't very likeable. I’ve (25m) been talking to this girl (24f) lately and she seems shocked that I don’t really have any friends. 14 votes, 42 comments. Many women will assume your female friends are competitors to some extent, as insinuating yourself as a friend is a reliable seduction tactic for women. Also the reason it’s a red flag is that no friends means that they are an asshat and no one wants to be friends with them or they are antisocial for one reason or another. She's your friend and he's someone you're dating. That’s a tall ask for a single never married person. It also helps that we were best friends before we started dating. He even knows that my best friend sleeps over my house a lot. Because he has no formal commitment to you he thinks he can do what he wants but that would be my cue to leave. He'll be expected to stop hanging out with them. He’ll know exactly what you’re doing and think you’re an asshole. He sometimes messages me during that time, but I don’t push for it. Shitty people can have friends, and often do because psychopaths and sociopaths and narcissists can all have social skills and have a bunch of friends. The relationship didn't last more than 3 months, basically because it was extremely boring and tedious. He's 33, has no long term friends and he's been living in his city for more than 7 years. 241K subscribers in the AskWomenOver30 community. Having some middle aged/older friends and family who have been single for years or recently divorced and finding love (one reconnected with an old school friend and now they’re engaged, one left her husband and now is in her first relationship with a woman) has also opened my mind up to the fact that life doesn’t just end when you hit 30 or In general, I would disregard their relationship experience anyways. Like lets say a guy made 50k and the lady made 100k. Maybe she doesn’t want to surrounded by fake people either. You're 100% right. Yes, and finding friends when you're in your 30s can be a pain, too. Ah, the famous: he doesn't want a relationship and I caught feelings. Some guys have a chip on their shoulder if the woman is more successful. Unless you’re in the town you grew up in or went to college in, maintaining friends gets very difficult after 25 really. DatDude242424. this sub is for advice about specific dating situations not general debates. Unless you have a habit of dating men who don’t distinguish between friendship and potential/current sex partners. Sure, he's got work buddies and he has drinking buddies. I have made friends before, but they are never long term for one reason or another. If you’re a guy in this city without a car / place of ur own, dating will be extremely difficult unless you are in the top 5% in the looks department. . When one member of the relationship falls short the other member the other member steps up. His sister, Sophia, and I have been friends since we were little. Obviously since we hadn’t had the talk or put any labels on our relationship, I just introduced him as my friend. It’s been going really well How many friends a guy has is an awful set of criteria to judge a guy on. And I was told they can’t just be friends but they must be close friends because you have to show the girl you have a social life. If you see no reason for friends, I don't want to know your reasons for wanting a girlfriend. Not to mention we had a fucking pandemic from 2020 to basically now lol. Basically, I would date a guy with no friends/social life, but the "I can't do it" attitude is a turn-off, especially as someone who has gone through it myself numerous times and proving that, yes, I can. You don't need 6 or even 2 close friends, but not even having one is a bad sign. murdercoven. If they’re not into it, move on. I, too, tend to make only a few close friends, so it would be cool if we're on the same page socially. I see it a red flag more if they way too many friends. Award. Your first goal should just be to have fun, ask women questions about themselves for no reason, and try to get them to smile or laugh. People tend to want kids or not. Then be friendly, and talk to as many women as possible! Getting a date or a number should not be your goal at first. Welcome to AskWomenOver30, an inclusive Reddit This happened to me this past weekend. They see each other regularly, even went on a holiday together. 3. I don’t normally date men with kids because my experience has been they want casual, hooks up, fwb, etc. We talked all night yesterday on the app and since last night he was insisting on having a phone call instead because he's not so used to texting. It can become unhealthy to have one person be your everything in life. However, I wouldn't enter a relationship hoping to change you; you would have to already have started the process. We value the same things in life, which is important in a long-term relationship. I do have friends actually but nobody that I’m close with anymore. I've always found it somewhat disturbing when women look down on a guy for not having more "relationship experience". There’s a closeness there for best friends, but nothing that would 1. But if you can't drive because you live somewhere where public transportation is available and you don't need to drive, and you are Why are you interested in male friends when you are in a relationship it simply means you are not ready to commit. When guys are friends with girls, it shows that they have the ability to see women as people and more than just sexual objects. I wouldn’t straight up tell someone “I have no friends”. Again, a bunch of weird generalizations. Poor communication. I (F21) can drive, so dating someone who can't drive isn't a big deal. Top 1% Rank by size. 5 years he had a toxic relationship with. I'm saying poor communication makes relationships difficult. I wouldn't date a man or woman without friends. We’ve both had issues we’ve had to get over, which negatively affected the connection, but when they got better, I just became comfortable. Everyone needs friends, by not having friends and choosing to be with your partner all the time, you become co-dependent, which can potentially lead to really low self-esteem and resentment in the relationship. The guy I’m dealing with knows this and I am always sure to give him his space when he hangs out with the guys. Not saying it will be impossible but definitely very difficult. Some people would probably see it as weird. hey_taipei. If you had no friends because you had sex with them or stole from them all and now they all hate you, that would be a massive red flag for me. If you’re romantically interested in someone, you should ask them out. Because if a guy can't have female friends, he's clearly a misogynist. 5. No past relationships is okay, no friends is not okay for me. Throw_Trash_3928. Just keep in mind that a girl who can make guy friends easily really has no trouble finding guys to date. I don't want to be with someone who doesn't trust all people, just because he has had a couple of negative experiences with certainly people. A lack of dating history is like a lack of employment history, it’s going to make you look like you have a lot of red flags and makes people suspicious or wary of you. 2. If they do, they can date a parent and raise those kids, but they may be resentful that they never got to raise their own. It’s unhealthy in a relationship to have opposite sex friendships. You should never be friends with someone with an end goal of dating them. saying rude things about their partner), and 2. They’ve been together about two decades now. A good friend of mine who’d had several relationships started dating someone who was in his mid-30s with no intimate experience. nothing serious and definitely no more kids. I know others have succeeded in relationships who don’t have friends, but I honestly don’t know how. I've met people, just not people that I would want to hangout with or are into the same things as me. If they’re best friends he’s going to be like her brother. No. For me it would depend on the reason, I honestly only made friends in the last 2 years (I'm 28) and it's not because there's anything wrong with me, I was just ridiculously shy and I moved country a few times. Welcome to r/dating_advice!. Women are attracted to a guy who is busy, with lots of options. Be actually intimate. ie yv tq uj tc wy vy lf uz jc